Picking a Nutrition Plan #Q15
I don’t have a picture for “nutrition plan”…Deal with it.
A quick note* on picking nutrition/wellness/fitness plans from yah homie who knows**: Pick something the works FOR YOU, recognize it may not work for you forever, and realize that changing stuff up is not a failure but just…a change. It’s best not to get stuck thinking that one plan or way of eating will last your whole life/year versus something works for you now, may not work forever and that’s totally fine.
Fitness and nutrition plans are literally designed to keep you coming back and paying for things. Some by creating a community and a sense of belonging, others by being restrictive and impossible to do forever thus, bringing you back when you need a “reboot”. Even equipment and accessories are designed for perceived “failure” - by wildly over counting the amount of calories you’ve burned by using them. ***It’s important to recognize the commercial part of this - if you could have a permanent fix for $50, the fitness industry would not be nearly as lucrative, right?
I say this to remind you (and me) not to torture yourself. Life is meant for living and living is not driving yourself crazy about calories. So, here are things that I evaluate when choosing a new wellness plan:
1)Is it overly restrictive? I don’t know about you but I’m not here for the ding-dang games, dude. And you know, given that all events are canceled, we have the luxury of slow, steady progress instead of some crash diet. Crash diets set up you up for maybe one event, one week. Not for your actual life. If you lose 20 lbs in the snap of a finger, you can gain it back that fast, too. #facts. This is straight-up: while a juice cleanse might “work” for losing 5 lbs in an hour, it doesn’t stick. Real talk: are you looking to lose a few lbs for right now or are you looking for a different lifestyle en generalmente?
2) Does it provide some flexibility? Or does it require strict adherence to “work?”? Again, this is the road to madness, ma’am. At least for me. If you have a plan where you have this many almonds at exactly 11:02 am while standing on your left foot facing east, unless you’re a freakin cyborg, you’re going to “slip up”. And it’s crazy because you never blame the plan for not working, right? You just blame you. Oh, it’s not the Sarah Smith plan wherein I’m supposed to eat nothing but lettuce until 4 pm that failed, but I’m the one who f**ked up and if I only did exactly what the plan said, I’d weigh [enter arbitrary gravitational measurement here] right now.
3) Does it make sense for your life? Realistically evaluating whether this work the time, energy and lifestyle? If you have to make elaborate meals with 1,000 ingredients six times a day, do you have a personal chef or did you win the lottery? Does a plan have you eating 1200 calories but you do HIIT workouts most days and ride for an hour on your Peleton? Then you’re probably going to feel like shit, low energy and starving because you’re not consuming enough calories. Are the ingredients expensive and you’re on a fixed budget? Do you like to have a glass of wine but there’s no alcohol “allowed” for the next six months? Do you regularly brunch with your friends but the restaurant food doesn’t work with this plan?^ In my case, Mr. Selfie gets Sunday as a day to cook something fun. For some people, counting calories is triggering. For some people (me), it’s tracking macros that’s drive them cuckoo. What works for your friend may not work for you because…you’re you. Not them.
4) Is there some actually science that backs up this thought process? This is important but also emphasizes the need to be flexible or to pivot. It’s nice when people tell us sitting is killing us^^ but like…that’s how the vast majority of everyone I knows makes a living. But also remember in the 90s when everyone lost their shit about not eating fat? and then, it turns out that the nonfat substitutes ALSO kill you? Remember, the mf South Beach diet where you couldn’t even eat fruit because of carbs? Right? The science changes and there are disagreements about the interpretation. I’ve spent like…a decade and a half not really eating red meat because it’s “bad for you” but plans I’ve read like, as of yesterday, say - hey, it’s actually important- but the book I read before a week ago said “Dear sweet baby Beyonce, please don’t eat red meat.” This idea has come up A LOT recently. Like a lot a lot: There are NO perfect answers. Because if there were, we wouldn’t have so many options. There is only the best choice for YOU based on all the data you have right now.
5) Do you know what your non-negotiables are? For example, I’m not giving up fruit. Period. I like fruit. I also like ordering food. I also am desparately endeavoring to not make myself (or my partner) insane. I don’t want to be up at night thinking about food prep (although, I do often go to bed thinking about breakfast. Mama loves breakfast). Oh, right. I’m also not giving up breakfast and I can’t eat dinner at 4 p.m.^^^ because I’m… at work because I’m a person. And not a Parisian Courtesean.#
I’ll step off my soap box but my whole point is that it’s awesome if you want to be healthier, feel better or eat in a way you belive in. But life is too precious to spend driving yourself insane because of food. Food is meant to be enjoyable and life is meant to be fun. You can never fail here, you are only trying something new. Everything else is just the patriarchy, sis.##
*”Note” is code for “rampage”
**I mean, if you’ve never cried because your husband accidentally added salt to your food during your non-salt day, you….are living better than me.
***Sorry, but you did not burn 14,000 calories on your 40 min treadmill. Nor did you burn 400 cals doing gentle yoga.
^Remember brunch? God, I miss brunch. I miss it so much like the basic bitch I am.
^^
^^^ Sorry Intermittent Fasting but no thankee.
#Why was THAT my go-to example of a person who would be available at 4 pm for dinner? We watched too much Moulin Rouge, y’all.
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