Selfie Does Officiating a Wedding
Photo Credit: Nate Messarra Photography, Houston
Yes. You read that correctly. I, Selfie of the Selfie shenanigans, was allowed to officiate a wedding. “But Selfs…the Shenans! HOW?” First, talk a very close friend into it at least ten years prior. And a full half decade or so before she even meets her husband. It’s a good start.* So, if you, too, would like to officiate your first** wedding, I do have some tips and tricks. Also, non-footnote to my beloved Jojo Fresh for: A decade of friendship; the idea for this post; and Duh. Trusting me to officiate her wedding.
1) Do You Love Public Speaking? Y’all. I’m just going to be real. This is the most pressure I’ve ever felt public speaking ever. EVER. In my last job, that’s what I did FOR A LIVING. Not only am I not afraid of public speaking, it’s literally the thing I do best, most naturally. Even when I’ve had no sleep and I have the flu, you stick a mic on me and I can go (and have) for seven hours, alone. For real. And this kept me up at night because…it’s not a conference. It’s not a speech. It is literally the ceremony that unites two people that you love and adore in marriage. If you hate public speaking, be real. Because this is a high-stakes engagement.
2) Listen and Document. If you’re in charge of writing the ceremony, write down EVERYTHING your couple says about each other. everything. I literally took memos in my phone for a year. I listened to audiobooks about relationships. I wrote down what anyone said about marriage. I thought about my own marriage. I thought about our friendship. And I wrote all of it down.
3) Have a Thesis and Edit. I wrote four versions of the ceremony. I consulted about length with the bride and then cut it down. I figured out which sentences I fumbled. What jokes didn’t work. Everyone one likes a memorable ceremony. No one likes a long one.
4) Practice, Practice, Practice…Practice, Practice.*** Out loud. To other humans. Almost constantly. I gave a toast at another amazing friend’s wedding en espanol once. I literally recorded it and listened to it. For the ceremony, I practiced for timing. I practiced to see which sentences I fumbled over. I practiced in front of Mr. Selfie. I practiced for Papa Jose. Kind of positive I accidentally married a group of people at a bar the night before the wedding^. I practiced out loud dozens and dozens of time. You can’t help that you’ll be nervous. But if you practice something so much it becomes natural, you will memorize the words and the tone and the cadence and the timing. This is not a wedding toast - your job here is more serious and whole there’s room for humor, it’s not a time to goof off. Also, there’s no crying, dude. If practice, even though you feel all the feels, you won’t cry. The first time I read it out loud, I cried. You can’t cry through a ceremony - that would be pretty distracting. It’s about the couple and not you.
5) Know the Paperwork. Every state and county has different rules about what you need to perform a wedding for it to be valid. I researched online, read the local rules and contacted the county clerk’s office to be positive. As the officiant you sign the paperwork so you can’t mess that up.
At any rate, this was such a true and heartfelt honor and it was such a beautiful wedding!! ❤️❤️ Have you ever officiated or wanted to officiate a wedding?
*add champagne and taco dip to the occasion
**and maybe only.
*** Practice, practice, practice some more.
^This is real that I practiced to a whole room of strangers. Strangers will let you practice too. People love weddings.