Selfie Does Goal Setting
In a non-bragging- just-self-aware-way, one thing I’m best at is achieving kind-of crazy goals. It’s on of the things that makes me who I am. Which is great, if your goal is to lose forty pounds or run a marathon or climb a mountain or do a triathlon. Those things aren’t easy but they are straight-forward with plenty of plans, resources and methodical processes to get you through. But have you ever been stuck? And I don’t mean trapped-in-a-public-bathroom-in-Bordeaux stuck*. I mean like….really, really stuck in your life and just leaning into that Eeyore rain cloud following you around? I’ve certainly been stuck before but when it’s due to something specific like “I feel gross because I’m out of shape,” there are generally simple (again, not easy but simple) solutions: Workout and nutrition plan. Boom! Go! But being stuck in a more existential “holy-crap-this-mediocrity-is-my-life?!” way is, to say the least, uncomfortable and disconcerting. It’s hard to know what direction to even look at to start back upwards from the hole you’re in.
When I knew I needed a change, I also knew that it wasn’t going to easy. I had no choice to revert to what I already know how to do. The nice thing was that I have a bit of training in achieving long-term goals, whether it’s running a race, or completing a course or losing a significant amount of weight. My strategy is actually built from those race training plans which helped me accomplish goals that felt insurmountable at first. The critical thing is to have a plan which allows you to have long-term goals with short-term clear accomplishments. Those smaller steps. like going from three miles to four miles, or losing that first two pounds, or showing up to that foreign language class once and then twice and then three times in a row, help make all of us feel like we’re stepping in the right direction.
“Wow, Selfs, *we’re evidently on a nickname basis* I just wanted to set some goals for myself, that got real surrious.” Well, the good news is that this practice that I made up for myself works anytime. But also, if you are or will be or have been in that really “stuck” place, this is what worked for me and I think will work for you too if you’re ready to be unstuck and start showing up for yourself.
Step 1: Write Down ALL the Goals
Sit down, brainstorm and write anything that you want to accomplish/change/do. It only took me a few minutes and a legal pad to get out everything I wanted to change or fix. I didn’t spend time writing down where I already was as I was perfectly clear that I was unhappy and didn’t need to dwell on it anymore. The brainstorming allowed to me to get a road map for the future. It’s hard to know where to start when you don’t even know where you’re trying to go and what your heart (and your head and your body) have been telling you that you need. This step is to get all of that stuff out.
Step 2: Organize Your Brainstorm
Take all the words and organize them into categories. What you’re accomplishing here is finding the patterns which will give you your overall destinations. For example, I knew that meditation, painting, writing and exercising all needed to be part of managing my stress and anxiety, but I had gotten away from those positive practices.
Step 3: Make Specific, Attainable Goals with Timeframes
Prioritize your list based on things you can reasonably do in a set time frame. I know with a busy professional and personal life, I just can’t commit to cleaning out a closet/bookshelf/vanity everyday and still prioritize things like ensuring that I exercise everyday and have quality time with Mr. Selfie. So, I organized things that were most crucial, but simple to do every day, like: flossing, taking vitamins, exercising and meditating. I took other items that I knew that would help me feel more put-together in the long run like, organizing my closets, and set them as monthly or bi-monthly goals because they weren’t as critical and it wasn’t super overwhelming.
Step 4: Write the Plan
Accountability is super crucial. When I’m running a race, I’m great at just being accountable to myself but I also, you know, tell people about the race like Mr. Selfie who typically helps motivate me by already being out the door himself. For my “get unstuck” goals, I wrote all the timing and check-ins in a journal so all I had to do was get to that day and I would be accountable to myself (Lord knows, Selfie loooooooves a planner). It really depends on who you are but I think proving to yourself that you’re willing to show up for yourself is crucial. Then, telling other people will help you remember that you promised to be accountable to yourself, which is a great motivator.
Step 5: Prioritize
Here’s what I’m doing differently in this New Year’s planning stage than what I did last year. Last year, I just headed out and did all the things essentially at once. And honestly, I needed such a hard pivot from where my head was at that I needed that extreme change. However, we all know doing all the things all at once isn’t maintainable forever. The cure? Prioritizing. If you’re making a big plan for the year (me too!), starting out with the one thing or two things that is/are most important to you and will make the most noticeable change for you, is critical. Then, you can add on your additional goals once you’ve accomplished a goal or once you’re ready to add more. It’s like Trainer Jami said, if you don’t work out at all saying you’re going to the gym five times a week is so much. If you say, “I’m going twice a week for these two weeks and then three times for the two weeks after that and so on,” it’s less likely to feel crazy overwhelming, just like any good race plan.
For anyone who is reading this and is stuck, I feel you so much and I really believe these steps are great for moving forward in a positive direction. Please comment below if you’re trying it and it’s going well or if there are other tricks and tips that you use in successfully completing goals.